what if...

I was too stubborn to be loved?
I was too keen on keeping myself to accept myself?
I was too afraid to ask sincerely to actually receive something?
I just tried?
...I'll go and try...

Dear heavenly Father,
. Amen

waiting for tomorrow....

you should never wait for tomorrow... nor next week... nor next year :)
it's midnight. this part of the day is when I say: 'look, it's tomorrow already :)
love to stay on the borderline and just BE there where one can see their steps through time... places - places full of love, and joy, and God, and happiness, and reconciliation with self and others and God and life, places full of life, and the the feeling of being alive and places full of blessings, blessings which do not depend on time, or circumstances or emotions or relationships, there is just Him blessing you in that very minute and very square meter of your life.
 I can also see the lives through which my steps have carried me. I see my loves, our hugs, our kisses and the shining eyes, and the full jars of tears, which do not compare with the happiness and fulfillment they brought into my life.
...and my really true best friends. Still walking through their lives it's a bit like living my life looking at myself with their eyes, and loving myself with their love and only just a little bit like: stop being me, and bei her for a while - which is not much a difference, for she is the other part of me somehow -
I see that I sometimes stopped and tried to change direction, or only just taking a shortcut through the woods, to rest a little bit, but it was impossible, because no matter where I was, it was still me, and no matter how  it was, or what it meaned it was the exact place for me to be :)
I just love to live. And right now I'm happy to be alive
.......yours thankfully : Julie