IF

if I was over you, I wouldn't be up at 2.17 am writing this,
I wouldn't be crying while doing that,
I wouldn't be asking myself why did I let you in my life, in the first place?
I wouldn't try to find each and every possible "what if..." scenario
I wouldn't remember your name by every piece of falling leaf, dammit!
and I would definitely not stay here and write nice words, while having not nice words to say to you!
I would grab my phone and call you, in the middle of the night, yes and say not nice things to you! About you! About the way I feel about you! About the way I feel about the way you feel about me and about the way I feel about the way you feel about me and still doing the things you do and acting the way you act and just... Yes, but if I could do that it would probably mean I'm over you. But I'm not, just yet.
But IF I was, I would!